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Singles (Volume I)

by ERDA

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1.
2.
And it hasn't been that cold, but I still feel it in my bones. Thaw the hurt, meet your eyes, then the swells and the rise. It's more than who these buildings formed under the weight of concrete forms. Our steps will wear right through the boards and I'll get desperate, I get desperate I know. I ain't felt whole for a long time; shallow. I've been missing pieces and chasing shadows. Dwelling in the moments that I can't get back so, I'm not really here but you still can't follow. There's a searching behind each word I know. There's an aching in the path you followed. And I can see myself in the cracks that I left in the place I was tested.
3.
It cuts slow, but I know that you know. I go back and forth the same way, I'm having the same day every day. So lost in the smoke, you look at me. I've been choking hope for clarity. Find myself in things that left me, it separates and isolates me. Can't escape the city in me. I don't see what you see in me. Feel different for things that could be. I'm enmeshed, but still move freely. 2 AM always sits best in passing streetlights I've been vested. It's gone. For my own sake. I'm not whole, but I know that you know. And it cuts slow, but I know you know. I need something different.
4.
If a photograph could capture it... But it's something more than that more than how it feels, it's how we react. And even then, before all that it's clawing at the roots, it's tryna figure shit out. Inside us sickly: all that they said, or I guess really more the unsaid. All of the glances, the meanings implied. Mostly unconscious for most of our lives. All of these lights slowly drove you insane, drew you in quick, I can't find your remains. I can't sober, I tried, I'll explain. We are the moths in the midst of a flame. Call me up shaky, don't know what to say. All of the pieces they can't stay the same. Severed connection; nothing remains. But I thought that this was more than that.
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Trace back the silence I've been feeding to you. Regurgitate the lies you've memorized too. Like how you're okay, everything has it's place. When really all that's left is me and my mistakes. There is such guilt inside of me. I should have done more, it breaks me. Watch myself watch you fall apart, it was slow to start, now it's tearing at my heart. Find myself thinking about the things you'd say, if we could talk. Right now I need you bad. Maybe you know what I'd say: how I've missed you since we went our separate ways.
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about

Collection of all singles released from 2017 to 2020.

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released November 13, 2020

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ERDA New York

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